Having people who “don’t prefer you,” means you are living life as your true authentic self.
That you aren’t trying to make everyone like you or, “people please.”
When you, “people please,” you rob God’s handiwork in allowing others to be touched by His masterpiece…which is, of course—YOU.
Practicing self care, self love can also include simply being yourself.
Stay in your own lane—with God.
You will always be loved by Him and be safe.
He made You—on Purpose!
And He made You—for a Purpose!
Today’s blog post is dedicated to my Grandma, Norma Jean Vensel, one of the only members of my family to actually take interest in, and read my writing. She passed away this month at the age of 89; this one is for you, Grandma—thank you for always making me feel proud of who I am as a loved Child of God.
My past tells me there is nothing worse than family pain, but even worse than that is when it becomes public. I remember trying very hard (in the moment) to not say or do anything I’d later regret, to rise above, and to grant forgiveness even though it was never asked for, even when I was being dragged through the coals unnecessarily or when I felt completely wronged. I stayed silent.
I said nothing in response to the character attacks, to the assassination that was me… And I apologized for anything I could’ve done to deserve abandonment. And I stayed silent.
No one knew the truth. My truth. And I didn’t dare suggest it in order to not disrespect my family or out them in their privacy. Even though they ripped mine apart. I stayed silent.
In the end I apologized for things that I could’ve been accountable for, which were nill, but I did it anyway. I did it to reestablish the peace, not just for me, but for my household, the ones living amongst my pain and chaos. And then, I stayed silent.
After this was over, after I was forgiven, I never was afforded the same understanding. And I stayed silent.
It bothered me briefly, but I put it away and moved on…I stayed silent.
What I learned is that some people need to be understood in their own ignorance. That some people need left right where they are so that you can move on… Some people will never get the opportunity to grow because they can’t allow themselves to see fault or accept any type of accountability or responsibility for their part that they played in anything. And that is the true crime—the life that’s not lived. The stagnant soul. The one that refuses change. Change being the reason life’s worth living in the first place.