Do you ever have days where you want to do something, but your body actually won’t let you?
Yesterday it finally hit me. I felt like I’d been hit by a ton of bricks. I needed a break. My body was tired and I needed sleep, so I allowed it to sleep in until 11 am! Then, after feeling guilty for allowing my body to have what it needed, instead of feeling good about things, I went on to try to do a million things in attempt to make up for lost time. Have you ever done this? Allowed your feelings to take control of your mindset? Instead of being rational about things, I acted on feelings, and it made a whirlwind of a day in fighting against what was to be and what I wanted it to be.
“Act now” my devotional from yesterday said. And I attempted to take it literally. I tried to do everything under the sun, including blogging, but nothing would allow me to get things done for some reason or close to being completed. My computer completely blanked on me and the blue little swirling icon wouldn’t even allow me to restart my computer properly. I was at a loss. What would I fill my day with if not for tons of meaningful tasks…and then it occurred to me. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. And maybe it wasn’t even that meaningful. Maybe sharing my good news meant taking a break from life for a while so I could recharge. I was then forced to have a day that though meaningful, wasn’t full completely with “stuff.” Or getting things, “done.” It was more about reflection.
Normally my days are full of mundane tasks. Do you ever feel this way? Like what you are doing isn’t important? It occurred to me yesterday, when I was actually taking a break from all of those “tasks” that they weren’t actually adding up to anything. They didn’t truly mean much other than something was completed. They didn’t include much feeling and didn’t work to uplift anyone else…they were empty. And what an awful feeling that was!
It occurred to me that because everything seemed like it was going “wrong” that maybe it was a red flag to slow down, reevaluate my habits, and to reevaluate what I wanted in my future instead of mindlessly repeating past mistakes and moving forward. That’s what would help my tomorrows and my future, by actually “living” in my present instead of rushing and racing around it, to embrace it instead. I decided to change my mindset. I forgave myself for needing time to rest and I put myself on a new track that included more down time with my son instead of routinely going about my day to day. We tend to become such creatures of habit sometimes, that life seems stuck at a standstill.
Maybe “act now” actually meant something more about relationships other than completing chores I thought.
Maybe giving proper priority to our relationships in life rather than meaningless tasks that can be checked off of a check sheet was the actual lesson to be learned. And maybe, just maybe spending more time with Jesus, was just what I needed. After changing my mindset, I began to feel more fulfilled, more loved, and more joyous.
I just went into our bedroom, which is where my son is resting and asked him if he wanted to go to the park. “No” he said. “I’m way too tired.” And for the first time, I decided to respect this response instead of pushing us forward into something that would have become more laborsome than fun. Instead I’m letting him rest, because he told me his needs and it is my responsibility as a parent to teach him that resting is not something to feel guilty for, but something that our bodies need to properly function. Sometimes resting and recharging is key to our long term success. Perhaps it is the perfect balance between resting and running that we need to win the race ahead. And Amen to that~!
“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.” Hebrews 12: 1-2