I found myself talking to a house fly this morning. No matter what I did, I couldn’t get him to go outside. I opened the back door, and tried to “shoo” him out but he was relentless. It was the back door where I used to take our boxer, Tyson out each morning and I’ll be honest with you, it made me sad. I miss him terribly.
As much as I tried to hate that dog, I loved him with every bit of my soul. He was always there with me, especially when my husband was away on business. And now that my husband is getting ready to travel again, it has brought me feelings of unease and unhappiness somewhat.
I’ve never been alone with just my five-year-old and this house without Tyson. But I remind myself that God is always with me. And that should be more than enough. “The Lord…will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31: 8 (ESV). This is the scripture I keep telling myself and it has helped in knowing I am not alone. Luckily, too my husband won’t be gone long, but it’s just the first time since Tyson’s death since I have even had to think about any of this let alone do it.
Today is such a lazy Sunday. We have done a lot of things most recently in attempting to entertain ourselves, including going to see “The Secret Life of Pets 2” and going to an indoor playground. We visited a puppy store too which smelled like pee but nothing there filled any type of void of missing our dog that we so cherished. “Someday…” my husband says we will get another dog, but it is too soon. I never thought of myself as an animal lover, but I must be one. Oh, the things we continue to learn about ourselves as we age. Is there anything that has every surprised you about yourself? Sometimes it seems like an exciting pursuit—to get to know yourself in new and changing ways. I talk to house flys so I can’t say that I don’t love nature. It must be a part of me I simply didn’t understand up until now.
My husband mowed the yard yesterday and I watched him as he batted HUGE cicadas off of him. The humming noise that they constantly make don’t bother me but he keeps talking about how they sound like they are slowly dimming. Such is life.
I pray you have a great Sunday and it is spent the way you like most. We are staying here today and thanking the Lord for the sunshine we have finally received after so much rain. My husband might clean our truck out, but that’s just busy work in the grand scheme of things. It feels good to have small accomplishments like this to bide the time. And Amen to that. Small blessings are often the biggest.
“My whole being follows hard after You and clings closely to You; Your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 63: 8