Month: May 2019

I woke up this morning to a sick little boy.

His cough is menacing and yet he can’t help but to still be in high and hopeful spirits. He woke me up this morning his normal way by screaming, “Mom!” at the tops of his lungs. He does this every day to see if “it is time to wake up yet.” And if it isn’t, five minutes later he will scream my name again.

It got me thinking this morning about time and how short sometimes five minutes can feel or how long it feels based on the situation. Five minutes of more sleep for me means very little. Because this morning he was so relentless, and sick, I decided to wake up early and get him settled in front of one of his favorite tv shows. This does not mean though that he stayed there. Instead he followed me around begging to get on my phone and play a new game that he had put on there the other day.

“Do I have to wait for you to give up to play the game?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure at that point what type of game we were playing but upon asking more questions I realized, that he was simply waiting for me to cave or give in, so he could play his game on my phone.

It all got me thinking about discipline and how much thought I give to it in my life. Do I cave a lot? Or…give in? Do I have good self discipline? Or do I quit? 

I still haven’t pruned my garden even though I said I was going to the other day. It is starting to bother me, but do I simply quit? I have a date on the calendar in which I plan to do all of my planting, so that is something worth remembering. No, I haven’t quit, but boy the feelings of guilt that come along with even pondering quitting are great.

Do you ever find yourself in one of these predicaments? Maybe you put something off to the point of actually quitting? I don’t know, but today I decided I needed a stronger back bone and that I needed to analyze how much I “cave.” Not just with my son either, but with other people.

Saying no has always been easy for me, but over time I question whether or not I can be prodded at until I give in. Have I become…soft?

I pray to God for His direction in doing the right thing and I know that these prayers will be answered. I have total faith that something this simple is something that both He and I can handle together. And Amen to that! They do say that quitting is not an option. Maybe it is just something I need to remember.

I pray you have a good day and that you have good health. Your health is everything. It is the gift you give to others. Prayers today too for my little one to get rid of this nasty cold. Amen.

“They brought to Him all who were ill…and he healed them.” Matthew 4:24

We went to a birthday party yesterday. It was pirate themed, and one of the cutest ones I’d ever been to even during my early years of going to birthdays.

I love birthdays. Maybe it’s the celebration of life that I love the most, I don’t know, (or the cake), but either way I think birthdays are special, no matter how old you are.

Yesterday all of the kids painted pirate chests. There were tons of colors and paint brushes to choose from—a real kid’s dream, and every chest turned out different. There were pink ones, and blue ones, gold sparkly ones and orange ones. Most of them had many different colors but it made me think about God’s love for us and how he made us all so intricately different. It is So intimate.

Just like snow flakes, here we are, so special in our own ways. It got me thinking about my specialness or what He gave me to be special as gifts. And even though they may “seem” small they are all what works out to make me, well…me.

Do you feel you have special gifts and talents that you use daily?

A lot of people I notice shun or shy away when asked this question. For some reason they don’t feel worthy but let me tell you that’s the wrong attitude to have. If you are musical, be musical. If you are the life of the party, smile and humor others. If you are quiet and give your gifts of service by observation, speak up when you see something that others do not. Give your specialness to the world.

Using our special gifts makes us what and who we are and they should be God centered. Dr. Rev. Stanley says this about living a God centered life: “A Christ- centered life is fueled by love for the Savior, which flows from increasing knowledge of Him. And we learn to know Jesus more intimately through reading, praying, and quietly abiding in His presence. As Christ increases in our mind and heart, we’ll discover that our self focus decreases and He becomes the delight in our lives.” To make Him happy, is to honor Him by being ourselves. Our spirits are unique and should be shared with others in His name.

Most people who don’t live Christ centered lives, don’t even have the time to think about special gifts, but if you worship the Savior, He is definitely looking for you to use what you’ve been given. You should feel good about this, as you are special to others but especially to Him. And Amen to that!

“Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus.” Hebrews 12: 1-2

Two years ago I planted bulbs.

They are part of our flower bed directly outside our door to our house.

This year, they don’t look so good however, because I didn’t weed them. They are beautiful red, and yellow tulips and so big that they often fall over because they can’t lift their heads up.

I thought about this this morning and realized that I was using Tyson’s death as an excuse. An excuse NOT TO take care of my flowers because I was so sad and in mourning. My flowers paid the price of my actions. I realize though that there is still time to mend them and today I am going to go buy a pair of gardening gloves to help inspire me to go out and weed.

Do you ever feel like your life needs weeding?

I feel this way, even today. There are so many things that I want to improve but in taking things one day at a time, I must learn patience and perseverance somehow at the same time. Do you ever feel this way?

I pray to the Lord, my rock and this helps. I blog and this helps too. Often times after I pray in the morning before I blog, it helps to settle my mind even more so.

Is there anything that you do that helps to settle your thoughts?

I think that every day is a day to learn something new. However, I think it makes it difficult sometimes when we are always changing. But that is life. I have often wondered how we are to truly know anyone if we are always changing all the time. I guess it doesn’t matter though, as long as we know ourselves as best we can and know God intimately. He is our only never changing force that we can rely on. Our rock in our garden full of weeds.

Actually, with Him there are never any weeds and the only upkeep we need to keep a relationship with Him is on us. It’s simple and it’s easy. Checking in and praying every day is something I can definitely do as the rewards are out of this world—they are divine. Do you know the Lord to be your rock and Savior?

I thank Jesus for His faithfulness. My faithfulness is great and I love my savior. I pray that you have a satisfying relationship with Him too and if you don’t, that you allow yourself this special kind of reliance on a Higher Power. It makes for a happy, joyous, and free life and something that is available to all of us. And Amen to that!

“The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer.” Psalm 18:2

There are so many people that lack coping mechanisms.

I am one of those people.

Even though I see a counselor, it can still get hard when mourning or feelings of unease set in. I pray and ask for God’s help, and that sets my heart at ease, but sometimes, I am only human and I look to the wrong things.

Back when I was drinking, I used that to numb the pain of things I never chose to deal with. It was a huge downward spiral that I was in, and I couldn’t (for some reason) figure out how to get myself out of it. I felt doomed. But then I started praying and asking God to take it all away from me, and that He did. I live one day at a time now, and know that alcohol or other man made things cannot replace the peace that only He gives. It was a struggle at the time, but very brief and knowing I have a wonderous life ahead of me is sometimes something I have to remind myself.

When feeling down I have to remember to look up regardless of the things that are happening around me; I must be strong and remember that my routine is what keeps me on track, both with the Lord and in my every day life. It’s what helps me to be happy, joyous, and free.

Have you ever fallen off of the hinges at any point in your life? I’m sure we have all had hard times, but how we deal with them is utmost importance. It has taken me nearly forty years to realize this but it is true. Coping mechanisms—prayer, exercise and discipline do help. Running away from problems used to be my catch all. I ran for nearly forty years in not dealing with anything and then, for some reason, it all caught up with me.

When I had my son, it rocked my world, but it made my world more about someone else for the first time than all about me as I was accustomed to. It was then that I started to question life and how I was going to raise a person that was so similar to me and different at the same time. There was so much to learn and it became more overwhelming to me at times than joyous. I simply forgot that being a mom meant doing the best I could, and that I did, but the guilt of not doing everything perfectly really weighed on me. The stress of worrying about whether or not I would corrupt this little person nearly drove me to insanity, and in those first few years I’ll admit, I really struggled. I was so blessed, and for the first time I had realized how much God loved me simply by giving me that bundle of joy…but I also forgot to raise him with my arms wide open and ask God for His divine help in the whole matter.

Things are much better now that I am back on track and understand motherhood a bit more. I know that only I can give my son what he needs and it has been a huge relief in even realizing that. For the most part many people don’t love themselves enough for them to believe that this is true—that they are special and supposed to be THE mom of a certain child. It is a gift and one that I am thankful for each and every day. So if you are feeling burnt out as a mom, just remember that you have been chosen. It is a divine responsibility and your coping mechanisms can always be found by simply looking up and asking for God’s help. He is there to hear all of your prayers. And don’t forget to pat yourself on the back every so often. You’re doing a good job. Amen.

“He gives strength to the weary.” Isaiah 40:29

It was never my intention to blog, but especially to blog about God.

It was something I felt “led” to do. Do you know this feeling? Do you listen to a power higher than yourself for direction?

I didn’t start doing this until I was in my last marriage. Times were tough and it was (probably) the first time I was able to quiet my mind and listen.

I just wrote a whole section of verbiage that suddenly erased but I’m going to keep on going and try not to get distracted. It’s so hard to blog in the morning and try to get it completed while getting my son ready for school and us off, but nevertheless, that’s when the messages come, so that’s when I must blog. God says so. And I listen, as best as can, to what I’m told.

I hit a car on Monday morning. It was a total accident and something that even if I was paying better attention that I couldn’t have avoided. It was at my son’s drop off and luckily it was with a woman who is simply wonderful and such a forgiving, loving spirit that she just laughed it off. It didn’t cause any damage, but even so, it shook me up.

Things would have been just fine if I hadn’t hit the cart return then too the other day at Walmart. I even have that assisted beeping that the truck does upon backing up, but for some reason…there it was. BAM. I bumped off of it just as I had her car. No damage but again, it shook me up.

It started to make me wonder what was wrong with me all of the sudden. If I wanted to take it that far, it made me nearly nervous to drive and back up again. But I prayed over the situations and God told me never to fear, that He is with me regardless and that the evil one would love to take my driver’s license away if I let him. So, I’m putting my faith in Jesus and telling myself it was a handful of odd occurrences that just so happened to coincide.

This morning I will be extra careful when dropping off my child, but it will not stop me from living my life and continuing with our routine.

Have you ever had occurrences that sometimes made you fearful of every day life?

Perhaps you fell once, I don’t know. Metaphorically we all fall. It’s the getting back up again and remaining faithful that counts.

I pray today you have a safe and harmonious day and celebrate the true wonder that is our world. To be fearless, to live with a dedicated spirit to Jesus, and to speak of Him is the best thing you can do. Why not start today? Prayer and love to you. Amen.

“And when you are brought to trial in the synagogues and before rulers and authorities, don’t worry about how to defend yourself or what to say, for the Holy Spirit will teach you at that time what needs to be said.” Luke 12: 11-12