My computer has a security feature through its camera lens that gives it the ability to screen shot you and “know it’s you” in order to let you into the computer. Isn’t that fancy?
Each morning it says: “Looking for you…”
It makes me feel so important.
But, I can’t tell you how sad it makes me when it doesn’t recognize me.
Normally, all I have to do is smile though and then it unlocks, but for the most part, it got me thinking about my face and how holding my face in a “smile” must somehow make me…well, me. And that’s a good thing.
At least I think…
Do you ever keep a “face” on throughout your day in order to feel more like yourself?
I do, and this morning my meditation centered around perfection and how so many times we “act” a certain part or play a certain role, even if it’s only for ourselves. Unlocking a computer screen using my typical “face” taught me something though. It showed me that for the most part, I am someone who “looks” happy. Someone who likes to spread this happiness around. But is that real? Is it the truth, I wondered…?
For the most part I am happy. But that is only because I choose to be happy (as I said yesterday). I will admit to you though, that sometimes at night I feel somewhat empty. It can have me feeling deflated. Do you ever feel this way? I try to keep my prayers into consideration and think of good things before I go to sleep though, regardless, because I want to have good dreams. Thinking of good things, (I think) helps with dreaming good things too. And typically, after my nightly prayers I feel somewhat refreshed and it helps with this draining feeling that the day sometimes brings on.
I’ve had my fair share of both good and bad dreams, but have you ever had dreams that were so good that when you woke up you were disappointed with real life? I’ve had TONS of these dreams. Once I even dreamt (most recently) that we had tons of money, lived in a castle, and that McDonald’s started selling customizable cupcakes. It was glorious!
But then I woke up.
And I was still me. In the same house, without pastries around the corner.
Dreams…they are such weird things. Some would suggest feelings of disappointment in waking up from good dreams like this, but it’s taken me nearly forty years to feel grateful instead. It’s something I work on, but I love my every day REAL life. Sometimes it sucks, but at the end of the day, even when I’m feeling drained, I love my small house and living on a dime and being in love with my husband and having a small child that delights me every day. When I count my blessings like this, I “smile” without having to. And my computer unlocks on its own.
Do you ever have dreams that you remember? Most of mine vanish after I wake up. I don’t want to dream my life away and some days seem so hard enough on their own that it’s okay with me if I don’t remember them. So until my next day dream, here’s to putting on a good face and pretending that it’s all okay. Because in God’s hands, we know that it is. And Amen to that! I pray today that you have good dreams both day and night and allow yourself that feeling of smiling without it being forced. I pray that you are smiling because you are truly happy. Amen.
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13