I could talk myself out of anything.
I guess I’m just one of those people who suffer from extreme anxiety; I don’t know.
But lately, it seems like it’s either gotten better or worse. Which one, I’m not sure, but I worry.
It’s part of my nature and what makes me—me. Medication or not, I am prone to worry. Maybe we all are, but I know at birth my worries began. It wasn’t until a year or so ago, that I began to deal with what surrounds my anxiety. So now, I see a counselor and have medication that I take daily. This aids me in the band-aids that I put on my worrisome nature, but all in all, God has helped me most in my troubles.
I had an appointment with my counselor today for 1:15 that I cancelled. I did it because I knew that it wasn’t the best thing for me right now. And that’s all I can say. Sometimes you just have to trust yourself and do what is best for you, not someone else.
All in all, I know I’m just another appointment in this woman’s book, but for me…today… “talking” isn’t something I was ready to do on MY agenda. Sometimes talking about worry only makes it more worrisome and discussing pieces of my past isn’t something that TODAY I was in need of doing. In fact, I knew it would be to my detriment.
I used to go to appointments and make arrangements based on my guilt factor. But not anymore. I do what is best for me and my family and with God’s help, I am able to live a healthy, fruitful, peaceful, and joyous life. He is the only one that makes it better for me, not anything else. With Him as my counselor, I am never pained. His open door policy is something I take full advantage of and regardless of what the world says, his pathways are always the ones I will choose to follow.
“Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7